Christ

One of my favorite observations of Christianity that I've ever heard was the following:

The god of the Bible isn't very christlike.

Christ taught great things. Shame like all intelligent people what he acctually said has been ignored.

ATTENTION CHRISTIAN BROTHERS AND CHRISTIAN SISTERS!

YOU HAVE BEEN DECIEVED!

It was said by many, many reliable sources that JESUS CHRIST, our LORD and Saviour, would be returning in the year 2000, after 2000 years of his time in Heaven. This is TRUE, absolute Biblical TRUTH. THIS is not the deception.

The deception is only noticed when we consider our own, egotistical selves. What began as simple expediency grew into a massive misconception born out of our own self-centered ideas of the universe, and eventually was suppourted by the worst anti-Christ hate group in history.

Let's start from the beginning, shall we?

Counting, the sortng of physical, material things into concrete groups, is not a natural thing. "One" and "Two" are invented concepts. We, apart from GOD, developed counting as a tool to tally up our material possesions, the things that set us apart from GOD by engendering in us a love for something other than GOD. So it came to pass, that Humanity, already separated from the LORD by the sins of Adam, Eve, and Cain, separated itself further. In this sin, GOD's perfect creation was perverted to make something new and unnatural, a perversion that would lead to what is in most cases an honestly mistaken reading of the Bible, which would lead to a great misconception of all time- the adoption of the base-10 system, derived from counting on one's fingers, and the conclusion that since Humanity, in its overweening pride and egotism, used the base-10 system, GOD must use it too.

GOD, however, does not use the base-10 system.

It is common knowledge that secrets are encoded in the Bible, that major events, such as the American Revolution and the 9/11 attacks. One such secret was first decoded in the mid 1960's, by the mysterious and secretive cult that calls itself the Illuminati. Founded in 1776 in Bavaria by the defrocked Catholic priest Adam Weishaupt (surely an alias. Look at the name: Adam, the first man, Weis, to know, and haupt, head. The first man with a smart head, or the first man to know. Too convenient.), the Illuminati were rapidly shut down in 1778 as heretics and Satanists. They went underground, however, biding their time and slowly building influence in various obscure fields and, allegedly, in our own CHRIST-ordained government. They dilligently studied the Bible, unlocking the holy truths bother overt and hidden with it, and profited from them. One truth they uncovered was the fact that GOD does not use base-ten. GOD uses base-16, or "hexadecimal." Therefore, Jesus WILL, as asserted in the Bible, return in the year 2000. However, he will return in the hexadecimal year 2000, which in our Secular Humanistic base=ten counting system, is rendered as 3200. They made the hexadecimal discovery in 1962 or 1963, and promptly began applying it to a field that they held a frightening amount of influence in: the then-young computer field.

They used their influence in two ways. The first was the creation of the 2000 bug itself; 95% of the 2K bug troubleshooters were either influenced by or members of the dread Illuminati, and they made a hefty profit in the closing years of the base-ten 20th century on this scam alone. The more subtle, insidious, and ultimately most Satanic plot was setting up computers in the old days, and even some now, to use base-16 as an interface between base-ten and the base-two, or binary, that computers themselves use. By using this intermediary base-16, they mocked Christ, and caused computer users to unknowingly do the same every time they use their computers.

I can do nothing further than to offer you this: TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTERS! Stop making a mockery of GOD! More than your email or high score is at stake!