Divorce

4 years, 1 month ago
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Divorce sends you into a kind of mourning period.

I cannot stop thinking of what used to be between them.

I have ill-will towards my parents' girlfriends. One was insidiously devious, and the other is a motherfucking doppelgänger of my mother. But cosmetically and probably intellectually better. It makes me sick.

Literally.

If I think too much, things go bad for my body.

I need a support group because talking to Rickets or any sibling is like talking to a democrat about a republican and expecting compassion to be given to the opposing sides.

My dad is now a hermit drunk who drives under the influence, and my mom is a self-serving fuckwad.

My sisters are vulnerable, but Act outwardly tough, and I worry a great deal about every fucking single fucking one of them. Every minute of every fucking day.

I am mostly mad at myself, though. One minute I wish I was there for my mom before she ran out on my dad on the day after their 38th year anniversary. I was pukey that day, too. I don't blame myself, but sometimes I want to blame someone, and it usually ends up being my mom's girlfriend.