Period

I've always been stupidly irregular... but I guess I've figured out how to fix that.

The steps are as follows:

1. Do yoga.
2. Occassionally, don't wear panties.

I can't say this is scientifically proven or anything, but it's working for me so far.

FFFFUUUUCCCKK EVERYTHING

I'm hot and in a lot of pain and nauseous and I can't just lie down in the dark because everywhere is hot and stuffy and I can't go for a walk because that makes it hurt more and the pills haven't done anything and this tapwater tastes like ass and I can't concentrate I can hardly SEE straight when it cramps and fuck fucking fuck shit I hate everything UGH

BRB, MURDERING SOMETHING

candy never tastes so delicious as when i'm bleeding from my uterus. thank god for gummy snakes and white chocolate &hearts

Okay, so, maybe I said once that I was happy to have a period.

After about a year of trying to deal with my PCOS, I've come to realize...

Periods aren't that great, no matter what disease you may have.

In fact, they aren't even good.

I mean, living on a diet of chocolate and ibuprofen for a week isn't as awesome as it might sound.

I'm supposed to be looking for a job this week, but I would rather just sleep all week.

Apparently that isn't socially appropriate.

Whatever.

Stupid fucking reproductive system.

I never thought I could be so happy to bleed for days.

It's not a joyous occasion because I thought I might be pregnant or anything like that.

It just means that the two months of hell I have gone through so far trying to take care of my PCOS aren't worthless.

My ovaries are working.

I am sick and tired of all my female friends getting grossed out, going on a speech about how they would never do something so "unnatural" to their bodies, or how wonderful the period itself is and how I shouldn't try to cover it; whenever I mention the fact that I am on Seasonique. The form of the birth control pill which means you only get your period 4 times a year.

The menstrual cycle is very natural, all adult female mammals get it, and to many it serves as the happy monthly messenger of Woo I'm not pregnant. It serves an important purpose for your bodies. I get all that, and furthermore I feel that women have nothing to be ashamed of when getting their period there should be no taboo around it. But you see not everyone’s menstrual cycle is normal and healthy.

You see my period causes my disease, Lupus which is strongly hormone related to flare up. Meaning not only am I having cramps so bad I can't sit up straight, headaches, bloating, water retention, and all the other lovely things associated with a relatively normal period. I also have increased arthritis, swollen joints, digestive problems, extreme exhaustion, and fever.

No if you had periods that were this severe, your doctor would have recommended that you go on this specific drug as well. Because having about 16 days a year where you are guaranteed to be so completely sick and exhausted that you can barely get out of bed, is infinitely better then having 48 days of hell.

But please don't lecture me on how wonderful the period is, and how necessary to life when you don't have anything half as bad as what I happen to get. Getting your period four times a year is not disgusting or weird , it is a blessing for lots of women like me who had symptoms so severe that they could not function on days of their period. I love it, it makes life a lot easier for me

I get where these girls are coming from. And if I were sexually active I would something that allowed me to notice I was pregnant a lot earlier then 4 months in. But seriously don’t lecture me on something being more natural, and how you would be afraid of the type of hormones its putting into your body. Actually it’s the same hormones that are in the regular pill, but instead of giving lower doseages before giving placebo so you get your period each month, these just stay at higher levels. When the pill was origionally developed they realized that women could safely go without having their period for some time, and the doctors decided that women would find getting their period each month more comforting. So that is how they marketed it to the public.

Then again these are the same girls who are freaking out about me drinking diet soda and the fact that we are all eating genetically modified foods.

I'm sorry I am worried about getting through college, how I am going to make a living after college, the fact that if my disease decides to attack any of my vital organs I will need to be hospitalized and could die, the war in Iraq, the mcmansions popping up all over areas of my once rural town that were supposed to never be built on, if I will ever be able to get into a romantic relationship, loosing weight, my grandma with parkinsons, my ageing dog and the tumors she has, and just about everyone else in this world that I love. And honestly I have a pretty good life right now, many of my friends are faceing way more shit then I am. I'm sorry but the litterall last thing I'm worried about is veggies killing me. Be thankful I am eating them at all.

Dude right now I don't have the fucking energy to get into the whole modified foods argument. The point is that I really hate being told what is healthy for me and what I should be doing by anyone but my doctor. Especially when it comes to things tested and deemed ok by the FDA. I know they make mistakes, but they are getting better and now as soon as they figure out that something is bad they take it off the market. Quite frankly having more days in a year where my body functions in some semblance of what a 22 year olds body should function, is worth just about any risk.