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I think doomsday has come and gone. I think I lived through it. I wasn't sure I would. But now there's another boy burning in my counsciousness, another person I'm going to swear to never abandon. Already making a future doomsday a possibility. I am designed to love the way some people are designed to help their community, or run marathons, or slip in and quietly end a noisy life. I can't help it, I can't change it, the most I can do is have a life while I love. The most I can do is not make the mistakes I made last time, although I'm sure I'll discover new ones. The most I can do is burn for someone who burns for me, instead of someone whose fire was long ago snuffed under the damp earth of lies, the lack of air caused by silent tension. I feel like I might explode, so much guilt and pain, combined with the high feeling of discovering a new soul I can cherish. I won't keep my love locked down.