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Somehow tonight, we ended up having a pointless debate about what happens after death. -"I know that there's just blackness, but I want to believe there's something after." I was outnumbered. These days it just sounds silly to believe in the afterlife, but I do. Not in heaven and hell persay, but in SOMETHING. I just can't wrap my head around the idea of my consciousness just ending. That there is nothing after the blackness.
"Have you ever been knocked out for surgery before?" "Yeah" "I think death is like that, that blackness." Well, I only know I've been knocked out when I wake up, when I reach that other side. So how can I know I am dead until I reach the other side? I remember the passage of time, and that's gotta count for something.
"Basically it comes down to this, our chemicals and neurons are what makes up our brains, and when we die, our brains die, and in order for you to think there's something after, you have to think that there is something separate from the brain, a soul."
I can't believe we don't. Yes, I'm ridiculous and believe in some weird paranormal things. I wasn't raised religious from birth, I came to it later, and now I seem to have fallen out of it again, and yet I can't help but think there is something, SOMETHING out there.
I don't think I've ever been afraid of death. Afraid of losing others yes, but never afraid of dying myself. I'm curious... or at least I was. I want to know what happens. I want to know what happens after the darkness. But now... I'm concerned that all there is is the darkness, and this vague sense of time passing with nothing you can do about it...
I can hear the clock ticking in the back of my mind. I only hope that when it goes off, it's an alarm, and I wake up to find a plate of bacon and explanations. Please don't let it be a bomb. Please don't let me be obliterated from this world. I haven't done anything. I'm nothing....