Ex

I was with my ex for so long that she felt like family. I decided to end it almost a year ago so she could continue her education and I could keep my job. I still wake up sometimes from dreams about us and I still have weird moments where I want to say a joke or do some noise or mannerism and realize shes the only one who would get it. She moved on after just a few weeks and I still feel so alone and find myself emotionally pattern tracing some amorphous "her" in the back of my thoughts even when I'm with someone else.

Sometimes, even though I know it's wrong, that isn't how it works, etc, when I think of my exes I have one thought. Fuck 'em all for not saving me.

its so hard not to talk to you. sticking to my gun is proving a lot more difficult than i would have imagined.

you re-arranged your life. so have i.

but you....you will be the death of me.

why can't i just tell him that seeing him is just making it worse?