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I was with my ex for so long that she felt like family. I decided to end it almost a year ago so she could continue her education and I could keep my job. I still wake up sometimes from dreams about us and I still have weird moments where I want to say a joke or do some noise or mannerism and realize shes the only one who would get it. She moved on after just a few weeks and I still feel so alone and find myself emotionally pattern tracing some amorphous "her" in the back of my thoughts even when I'm with someone else.