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Quarantining for the COVID-19 pandemic has been rough for me. Social isolation feels like death. It feels like I'm prematurely disappearing from the world. The things that I do alone feel like they don't matter. Being alone makes me feel like I don't matter. Like I'm floating in the middle of a vast ocean, with my head barely bobbing above the water, with no one to witness nor rescue me. People were my dry land.
I've been feeling so isolated lately.... Almost as though I'm locking myself away into my head again. It's so incredibly awkward. I surround myself with people I enjoy, people that do make me feel connected to them in some manner. However, I don't really feel that connection anymore. I sit in front of my computer and talk to my dearest friends who are so far away but that doesn't help. I miss them and I wish that I could see them more, but I can't... I'm not that lucky I guess...not to say that I don't have plenty of lovelies here, but right now I feel isolated.