Isolation

Quarantining for the COVID-19 pandemic has been rough for me. Social isolation feels like death. It feels like I'm prematurely disappearing from the world. The things that I do alone feel like they don't matter. Being alone makes me feel like I don't matter. Like I'm floating in the middle of a vast ocean, with my head barely bobbing above the water, with no one to witness nor rescue me. People were my dry land.

I have no one left. I am alone. No one cares. No one "wants to get involved". All I have is the ether now.

I miss my life. What happened...

I've been feeling so isolated lately.... Almost as though I'm locking myself away into my head again. It's so incredibly awkward. I surround myself with people I enjoy, people that do make me feel connected to them in some manner. However, I don't really feel that connection anymore. I sit in front of my computer and talk to my dearest friends who are so far away but that doesn't help. I miss them and I wish that I could see them more, but I can't... I'm not that lucky I guess...not to say that I don't have plenty of lovelies here, but right now I feel isolated.