I realized today that I feel better than I have for four years without drugs. I still have a drink now and then. If weed didn't make me anxious, I might be smoking it. It's only the opiates that do that to me, make me a twisted, creature crawling to the next fix, my eyes, pools of reflexive need, fixed on a tiny pill. I'm so glad I'm not that beastie anymore. I stand up straight, I walk, I make decisions with my brain, not my dopesickness. I'm handling multiple shitty aspects of my life. And I'm doing it on my own. No NA, no AA. I barely have anything approaching a support group, the kind that's supposed to be made of friends, family, and lovers. God DAMN is it nice.

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Your journey is a testament to your strength and resilience, and I'm proud to call you a friend! I think I told you how much I'm proud of you, but that can never be tired out. Now is the time to take life into our own hands, take control of it...not let the world take us under the riptides. Happy trails, Happypants McGee!

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