Proud

I've finally come to the conclusion that I'll never make you proud. What you seek of me would only make me miserable, and go ahead call me selfish, but I rather be happy than make you proud of me. If you're disappointed in me for following an unknown path that makes me happy than so be it. I don't want to see myself have a life full of sadness like you.

I wish that there wasn't some sort of prerequisite to someone being proud of you .... more specifically, the stupid one that has been placed on me. "Proud" seems like a negative word when you describe someone as it, but when used to describe how you feel about something that someone you care for has done, you say, "I'm so proud of you." This means that you've both taken the time to care about them and about what they have done. There shouldn't be a doubt that there's some level of personal connection there. It seems that in the past two days I've lost a lot of my "pride" in a few people and that's something that they decided. I've done all I can and they threw it back, how can I care about them when they do that?

"I'm proud of you."

It's such a simple phrase, so cliche, it feels like nothing if it's said to you. It feels like the world if you can't hear it.

My dad once told me that he was proud of me. I pushed him off. I didn't mean anything.

I'd give anything to hear him say it again. But I know that as soon as the words fall from his lips, they will be meaningless again.