Loveletters

I'm writing this to tell you, because I'll never get the chance. That I had the best time when I was with you, and if I could repeat that weekend over and over again I would.

It's funny I always put people down when they said "I love you" really early in a relationship, but my friend put it into perspective for me. She said (and I would take her word before any others because she has 14 years of experience on me) "we all love. If even for just a moment, there are different kinds of love, it's not unconditional, it's more situational. You see someone you're attracted to them, you start to talk a lot, you connect, you feel the connection, and you love them. Even if just for a split second you love them. And sometimes that love evolves into something physical, it's just an affirmation that the feelings you were having in that very moment were not unfounded."

The undertone to that is that however, the fact that sometimes even though the affirmation is there and there is no guilt in loving you after knowing you for 4 days. We have a taboo to saying that word so early because it is so strong. it is powerful. Mountains move for it, people go on great journeys, sell their possessions, live in poverty for it, give up powerful positions, step down, move away, and put themselves in great danger just for love.

Knowing you just as I did in that moment, will be the reason I love you. Nothing more nothing less. I will not always have your back. I will not always be there to take the call, and I may not ever see you again. But in that moment I found love and the foundation for it's worth. I now understand what people mean when they say love at first sight. I now understand what people mean when they say I love you so early. You do mean it in a moments notice. It's just a different genre of love than everyone is used to.

So, that said I will not e-mail you my crazy notion. In fact I will not say anything of it. I will simply let it exist and let love letters pile up in a word document on my desk top. Thank you for giving me the chance to feel loved even if only for a fleeting second.