Pulse

Is it strange that I can get depressed by my own pulse? When I woke up this morning I could hear my suitemate and his gf talking... and their music sounded eerily like some kind of heartbeat. Just coming out of dream-state it freaked me out. I knew it wasn't my own pulse, it was far too fast, but it tried to worm it's way into my subconsious, and I guess it worked.

Later in the day, I watched a performance, and after I escaped from the heat-filled room, I just sat at a table watching people go by. When I laid my head down, my hand fell on the back of my neck, and I just felt my pulse, and it jumped me. I laid back down, and I could feel it again, jumping just under my skin... and despite the fact that I was in a building full of people... I felt alone. I was sitting at a table by myself, hoping for anyone I knew to come by, feeling my own lethargic pulse, instead of curled up somewhere, feeling someone else's. It's so annoying... despite being a virgin, awkward, and kind of a commitmentophobe in some strange way... I still crave some kind of closeness...

Makes me think... last time I really got close to someone, curled up with them... I remember laying with them, and hearing their stomach glurp instead of their pulse. Heh... that relationship ended... not on a bad note, but we just didn't quite fit together right I guess.

I'm missing my complementary puzzle pulse.