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She refused to believe that me and my roommate are virgins.
I'm not sure exactly how I feel (or should feel) about that.
Should I take it as a compliment? It sort of implies she thinks I'm attractive in some ways because she assumes I must have attracted someone before...
Or should I find it insulting, as it seems to say she feels it is so unlikely for anyone my age to still be a virgin that it is a completely preposterous idea and not at all believable?
What I can say is that my reaction was indeed negative. Maybe because I associate my virginity (and by that I do not just mean in the sexual sense of the word) with a large part of my 'soul'. I put myself out there, opened up about something deep within myself, the wound that drives my artistic aspirations...
...only to be told that she doesn't believe in any of it.
Stings like having a religious experience that everyone else just insists was madness or drugs.
I kind of feel your pain on this one. I'm a virgin too, and I am also 22 and have never been kissed. People hear this and say things like "but your so nice." What does niceness have to do with getting laid.
I'm not the type who would go out to "get laid" mind you, I have been aiming for the far more dificult goal of love as opposed to sex. But seriously what does being nice or attractive have to do with being a virgin at a certain age. Sometimes its a personal choice, and sometimes the right moment or person just hasn't come along yet.
It's part of who I am and certianly being one at this age has helped to shape my identity. Why do people sometimes treat it, like virgin is a dirty word.
Hell, I lost my virginity in the hayloft of a barn. I didn't feel much of anything, between my thighs or for the boy, I just wanted some of that sex stuff. His mom came out in the middle of it. Made me glad I'd insisted we spend the two prior days building a wall out of OSB and plywood so we would be hidden if anyone wondered where we were. I hopped up and put my socks, underwear, and bra in different pockets.
I was fourteen years and twenty days old.
When we were back inside, on the couch, I was shaking. it was from almost getting caught, but I know he thought it was because of what we had just done. I let him think that, as cold as I can be, I try to never be cruel.
It was a few years before sex was anything but stolen time wasted with frantic humping while parents were at work, upstairs, wherever.
I officially became a Unitarian Universalist, a non-Catholic, at age 13. I was officially in a belief system that didn't elevate virginity as a lofty ideal, and I honestly believed that there was nothing wrong with sex.
Even when I was younger, and a marginally OK Catholic, I never really thought that there was an inherent evil in having sex before you were married. It was just that when you were married, that was special. That was a special connection, and that sex was supposed to be more than just bodies thrusting at eachother. Plus it was for makin' babies.
But even with all that, I was terrified when the idea of sex became a distinct possibility, with someone that I had been in love with for a long time. I didn't have anything wrong with that. I knew for a fact that unless something disastrous occurred during the act itself, that I wouldn't regret it for as long as I lived. Even if he dumped me the day after or something. I just thought that after having sex with him, that big "virginity" thing would be gone, and I'd just start having sex with everyone. I'd turn into a slut or something.
I had sex with the person I was in love with at age 17, and since then, he's the only person I've ever had sex with. The people I know think I'm a slut, and I guess by nerd standards I am. I've had four "boyfriends" over the course of my college career, and that's three more than anyone else in my crowd. When it finally slipped that I didn't have sex with them, in spite of being with one of them for more than six months, they've all come to think of me as a prude. Haha Funny people.
I don't know what the magic of virginity is, or the magic of sex for that matter. Why is it such a big deal?
I guess I've just never really been a big fan of it. I've always felt like I wasn't up to par, as someone so ridiculously inexperienced. Secretly I wonder if I dated some of the scumbag guys I dated just because I felt guilty about being bad at sex, that I wanted to get my practice out on someone who didn't matter, so I'd be at least passable for the only person who ever mattered to me, when he inevitably popped back into my life.
I guess I just hate the fact that I've never been the one who fell behind. Ever. In any aspect of my life. And it really, really bugs me that I could be that shallow.
I never liked being a virgin, having the stigma of "purity" attached to me. Sure, the allure was nice, but I've always preferred to be "experienced," "seasoned," "wisened." Things like that. "Clean," "untouched," "naive." These concepts never worked for me.
Thinking of people I know, I am acquainted only 3 actual virgins. I think this is a good thing, as sexuality is now being demystified. I can see no reason why being a virgin is a positive thing. You don't know what you're missing and it's not like staying one actually increases one's chances of "love."
I find it weird, and at times annoying that in our culture, it's easier to get laid than it is to get genuinely loved.
It annoys me whenever I have my regular check-up appointment with the doctor, and they ask "Are you sexually active?" and I say no and they say "Good for you!" like it's on purpose.
For me, virginity was just an obsticle in my way. Something that had to be delt with swiftly and soon. The day came when my girlfriend and I went to a movie, and decided to "movie hop" going from one theatre to another. Finally we found ourselves in a completely empty movie theatre, which coincidentily answers the question of whether or not movie theatres show the movie if no one has purchased a ticket. The answer to this is yes. Well now that we found ourselves in this empty theatre we decided to fool around and push comes to shove we ended up having sex on the floor of the back row. Yes, the floor of this movie theatre was just as sticky and disgusting as one would think a cheep dirty movie theatre floor at the mall would be. She was 17 I was thirteen, and thus began my akwardly awesome venture in to slutdom. My standards have not improved incase inquiring minds would like to know.
For what seems like years, it was a running gag. The topic of sex would come up in one way or another, the fact that I was a virgin would be mentioned, and the reaction was nearly always the same: "I didn't know those actually existed!"
It wasn't that odd for my age, since i was between 13 and 16 when all such discussions took place, but such is the price of having a lot of older friends. I didn't really mind the jokes, but people didn't understand my motivations. I had no delusions of waiting for "the one", or moral obligations to wait until marriage. I was afraid. Not afraid in the more common way, characterized by general uncertainy and lack of self esteem... I was afraid on an instinctive level (due to bad experiences when I was younger) that motivated me to be extremely jumpy.
The first time I was physically intimate with a guy, we didn't actually have sexual intercourse, but it ended up being a far bigger deal to me than losing my virginity. Oral sex was particularly terrifying, since I was 4 the first time I was exposed to it, and it involved coughing up blood.
After my first willing intimate encounter, I wanted badly to explain to him exactly what he'd helped me with, but it seemed so overdramatic. The most I could do was thank him for not scaring me.
Didja have fun?
Haha, sure. ;)