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My mom is having really serious surgery on Monday, but I can't bring myself to tell anyone about it. I'm really concerned but I've done my best to shove it back into the recesses of my mind. I don't really want to deal with it. I also don't want people feeling sorry for me. I've always been one of those people who is really open with my life and my experiences, but in the last 3 months, I've gotten more closed mouthed about everything. I don't want people to know I'm scared, I don't want them to know what I'm thinking. I want them to make less assumptions about who I am. I want to keep them interested. But as I have seen on here, people don't respond to really depressed entries. They leave you to your own. They're more likely to respond if you say something frivolous, pissed off, or happy. So I've started hiding the bigger issues from my friends.
God, I know how you feel. A while back my mom had major surgery. Then after that we found out she had cancer. The next few months that followed were the worse ever. She finished chemo in December and I'm just now even starting to talk about it. I think only one of my best friends know about what went on, and that's only because I mentioned something about my mom's chemo in passing. So yeah, I know how it feels to be scared out of your mind. I know how it feels to be constantly worrying, and I definitely know how it feels to try to push it to the back of your mind. Just try not to let the worrying take over. If you let it take over, it will break you down.