Sweet

5 years, 3 months ago
Link to this thought

We met two days ago and gravitated toward each other at every possible moment since the first. Now we found ourselves at one of the city's cheesiest attractions, and I all but skipped to the mini golf course."How do you do that?", he asks. "How do you look at things I've never cared about in a way that fills life with magic?"

I pause awkwardly for a moment, avoiding his eyes as I try to generate a nonsarcastic reply. I'm lousy at dealing with compliments.

"I cling to the emotional reactions that we're supposed to grow out of as we become adults," I answer honestly. He smiles at me and smooths my hair to calm my suddenly twitchy, less confident behavior. Ugh. Of all the things to throw me off my game...

"Marry me?" he says jokingly, gesturing toward the "Hotter than Hell" Kiss themed chapel. I laugh nervously and he changes the topic back to business. I ease back into comfortable, confident modes of conversation.

It wasn't long before he asked me to run away with him. "I don't care where we go. We've made enough money here to get a decent start whereever we feel like. Let's ditch our old homes and make one together. Or just travel. I want to see the world with you, with your excitement."

I told him that my current base was a good one for now, but that maybe we could visit each other sometimes and meet up at conventions. What I didn't tell him was that I'm a tempermental, bitter,unstable person who would disappoint him if given half a chance.

I'd rather never see him again than let him see who I really am when I'm not finding wonder in the world. Maybe this way I'll never get a chance to hurt him