Goodbye

I said goodbye to a friend of mine who is moving very far away about an hour ago. As I was driving home I told myself "it's whatever," but then I realized, no, it's not whatever at all, it actually makes me really sad.

after saying so many, you'd think they wouldn't get to me anymore

I go out of my way so I don’t have to say it. I hate the word. I think it’s one of the very few words I truly hate. I don’t like the finality of it. Nothing ever really ends, everything keeps going even after the word slips through your lips and you’re miles away. I miss people far too often and for no other reason than I really hate to be alone....yet I always seek solitude.

There are parts of me even I don't undrstand.

I wish I could sleep. With sleep these thoughts would cease to be and I could fall back into ignorance and pretend everything is the way it’s meant to be.

Stay safe little sister, don’t fall back into that mess again you have way too many people in your corner to let us all down like that. To let yourself down like that. I miss you and when I don’t say goodbye it’s not a rejection it’s acceptance and love the only way I know how to give it.

If only I could articulate everything that ran through my mind at the exact moment I need to.

There's someone who's passed on I wish I could have said goodbye to.

There's someone alive but long gone who I wish I could appologize to and give a proper goodbye.

And there's someone alive that I wish I could currently say goodbye to, but it never lasts very long when I do.

i hate saying goodbye. i hate the way it feels on your tongue. it seems so forever.

not just goodbye for now, but goodbye forever.

that's the worst taste in the world.

i hate missing you.

i hate it.