Hottub

I used to want to have sex in a hot tub, but that was before sex education teachers spoiled the experience for me. Apparently the hot water only breeds bacteria and disease, plus water isn't a pleasant source of lubrication. Being educated sucks.

I remember when I was REALLY young hearing about 'dirty' web rooms and one name stuck out in my memory.

Hottub

Why did this stick into my memory? Was it the power of CNN, or whatever god awfiul reporting network I heard it from? No idea.

Luckily, I found #hottub on irc many years ago and everyone in it was lame.

I didn't need the news to tell me to avoid eSex spots like #hottub. Lame jerks did it for me.

I knew from the past two conferences that there was going to be a hot tub at the hotel. To make a long story short, they weren't able to prosecute because we cleverly disposed of all the physical evidence. ... Okay, lemme backtrack a little. I bought a bottle of bubble bath and brought it along. On our last afternoon in the hotel, I tested it out when the tub was full of my friends and a half-dozen teenage girls. I was in highschool at the time, so this wasn't creepy of me. (Half-bottle of bubble bath) + (Hot tub) = Fun^3 Three feet of hot tub below, one foot of bubbles above. The tub wasn't that large, so the bubble density was nice. The maximum occupancy was posted as being six people, but I was in there when there were six guys and eleven girls crammed in (biggest game of footsie EVER in the middle of that thing). The group quickly got over a "what-the-hell-did-he-just-do?" attitude and enjoyed it. Then, security noticed us. We didn't have to use my plan of denial ("We thought the hotel put this crap in!") because they just told us to get out so they could drain the hot tub. We jumped into the pool while they spend an hour and a half draining that damn thing, refilling it, and remixing the chemicals. I felt a little bad about them going to the trouble. Not so much that I didn't plan to come back with my group later that night to empty the rest of the bottle into the hot tub, though. But planning was necessary! Security and the pool staff were clearly a bit ticked about the whole thing, so we had to be stealthy. We would be fine if their only evidence to link us to defiling the hot tub was our coincidental presence on both occasions, but we couldn't let there be any bubble bath container with us that they could find. Even a paper cup or a Sobe bottle could inciminate us. Normally I wouldn't be that paranoid, but I didn't want anyone to get arrested or kicked out. So, I came up with the plan for all of the guys to soak their swim trunks and hair with bubble bath and all of the girls to soak their bikinis with the stuff. Needless to say, this plan worked perfectly, and proved enjoyable before anyone was even in the hot tub.