- 1 thought
- Log in to add a thought
have you ever done that thing where like, after you've been on a fairground ride like a rollercoaster, or just been off the ground for ages, and when you get back down you lie on the ground for a while, digging your nails into the grass, just to reassure yourself that it's still there? maybe that's just me though, I have a bit of a fear of heights. anyway. the emotional corollary to this, after doing something emotionally unsettling like watching a horror movie or doing something unpleasant, is presumably just some kind of metaphorical clinging to the ground. I had plans for today, I was going to go ride my bike in the lovely sunshine and watch DVDs at a friend's house, but after a very stupid decision to read some creepy Internet ghost stories, I am filled with some kind of agoraphobic dread. I want to go out and not waste such a beautiful day inside, but the very idea of sticking so much as one toe outside my door right now is absolutely paralysing. it's called the fear, and I've had it before. it's fairly easily dispelled by a friend inviting me out(helps if it's in person or just not very far to walk), but by myself even though I know exactly what's going on, I can't do it. how embarassing.
My isolation from everyone and everthing for the past year and a half has made me have this constant fear. It sucks so bad. I don't have friends around, no one to go to, no one that cares enough to drag me out of the house.... just be glad you do ;)