Lie

I lied. I didn't mean to lie, but I did. I'm sorry.

Right now I feel like everything anyone says to me is a lie. Every compliment is just to make the speaker feel better about themselves, every apology is just a cover-my-ass, thanks are spiteful sarcasm and 'it'll all turn out okay' is wishful bloody thinking. It never gets better before it gets much, much worse - and 'better' is just a return to the normal level of shittiness.

Why do I even bother talking to people if all they're going to do is bitch and lie at me? I can't even call them out, because they'll just lie some more and play the victim for being called a liar. Ugh! Why does EVERYONE have to have a hidden fucking agenda?

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people are jerks. i've taught myself to expect the least from them (and sadly, my own friends as well), so that when they let me down, i won't be quite as disappointed.

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a lie is probably the most lethal weapon on the face of this planet.

used correctly (and this is horrific that it has to or even can be used correctly) it can get you whatever you want.

i've always had ease in manipulating people or situations to my advantage. but i'm not so sure it's different from lying, after close analysis.

to me, if you lie to me, it's as if you're confirming that our relationship means nothing. whether that be as an acquaintance, a friend, a lover, or family.

it could be about anything. even white lies spiral out of control.

i've been lied to so much over these past 19 years that it's getting close to the point where i have trouble believing anyone.

my paranoia doesn't help matters, and neither does my gullibility.

do you know just how hard it is to live in a world where you have no idea who is genuine to you and who is acting?

to be able to tell the angels from the demons?

this is my tragic flaw. it's what will eventually kill me. and even that might be a lie.

I told someone I loved her once. I was drunk. I (still) don't know hardly anything about her, and yet I still told her I love her. I told another girl I was falling for her once. This may have been true, but it might as well have been a lie, because I am pretty certain it was mostly an obsession. I think it scared her a little either way. Sometimes I tell people I love them just because they are showing some kind of affection towards me. I mean, it's probably also not true when I say it to them. If I say it to you, I probably don't mean it. I guess it means different things for different people, so maybe I mean it in your sense of the word. But I don't mean it in mine.