Thenagain

And then again i hate you. i hate your immature ways. i hate your useless depression. i hate the way you make me feel like less of a person. like less than her. ok, you wanna talk about her? you want to go there? that girl is the reason i cried until i was ill. she is the reason i run when you look angry. she is the reason i want to change myself to make you happy. that girl. THAT GIRL, is the one who made me doubt myself as a person, as a woman. and here you sit, claiming to love and adore me, thinking about her? i hate that i love you. i hate that i cant slap you or tell you this to your face. i hate that you hold my heart in the palm of your hand. THAT GIRL- i wish that bad things would happen to her. i read her words about you and bile rises to the back of my throat. so the two of you have "places"? you kissed her when i wasnt there. you slept, wrapped in each others arms, safe from the storm of emotion i was enveloped in. while i cried and shook with misery you pushed her up against walls and promised her things that i taught you how to do. and then again i love you. you and your brown eyes. you and your strong hands and ready smile. the way you dont care what others think. and then again, do you know that none of our friends think that you deserve me? and they are right. and then again.... what am i going to do?