Cocaine

Sort of want.

cocaine's a hell of a drug.

the funny thing about it is that it seems to make you want to do four things - talk, smoke cigarettes, fuck, and more cocaine.

my theory is that it grounds you too thoroughly in the third dimension. cocaine seems to separate you from all the intuition and extra-sensory information we process every day, most of it subconsciously. it separates you from your higher self and leaves the body running on animalautopilot for a while.

if drugs are sins, this one is gluttony.

but it's fun! cocaine conversations will never fail to be the fastest, most in-tune, one-on-one exchanges of information thoughts and ideas you'll ever have.

while i can recommend cocaine, i don't recommend ever paying for it. find some friends who are addicted and hop on that train for a while, because as everyone who does cocaine knows, if everyone in a house is on it, it's a -lot- better for everyone. and the more people the better! but as soon as they start wanting you to pitch in, or the moment you decide you want to get to know an 8-Ball over a weekend, get the fuck out.

get the fuck out.

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that seems pretty rude to do...make others pay for something really expensive like that. They're addicted to it, so they pay for it. If you're addicted to something, you should bloody well pay for it yourself.

That said, the only time I've done cocaine was at someone's house. I didn't know I was going to do it, though. I was really drunk. I swear...

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You do care a little less about stuff, but it's only for a while. the craving and the mindset go dormant. They're still there, oh yes.

Crack is much worse.

A friend once told me, "Once you do cocaine, you don't care about anything else."

"That's not true," I told him.

I've had enough experience with cocaine users to tell me that.

"No," he says, "everything is a little less important afterward, and that's MY experience with cocaine."

If he's right, that means that my mother will never be able to love me as much as she loves (loved?) cocaine.

I hope to God he's wrong.