Survivor

2013 was potentially the start of a new astrological cycle (if you buy into that). It was supposed to be the end of a golden age. When I look at it I am just happy I survived. I lost 3 family members, 2 of which were my grandfathers. ( One of those grandfathers raised me) My Grandmother had open heart surgery. I had my digestive system shut down. I was informed that my body chemistry is so atypical that if I don't stay on medication indefinently I will end up with cancer. I faced the fact that I was raped last year and there were emotional and physical side effects of that trauma. I found out i will never have children without serious medical intervention, I was robbed. I realized that I can no longer identify as a Christian ( which I have been my whole life). I lost a close relationship with a cousin because I don't know how to tell her that her husband is a scumbag and has hit on several female members of her family. (She knows he is a bad guy) I have spent a lot of time feeling lonely, like a freak among freaks. My car quit. I get screwed out of a promotion at work. Consequently I got burnt out and started resenting my job. I lost a pet. I had a good friend almost loose their life. I need to loose weight so I don't get diabetes, but if I do I might be more attractive, then I might attract attention, then bad things might happen again (and the anxiety attack starts).

I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.