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I was scared he wouldn't take my no. I was scared of leaving by myself. I was so scared that I was shaking. I was shaking and I fell down the stairs, my body doing that dissociative trick it had always done, as my bones pop out of places and I got bruises worthy of admiration, worthy of the violation. It's like my body says, I won't allow you to be hurt like that without everyone knowing, without everyone really seeing.
I went with a friend but as I gather myself together, my glasses broken and bones back in place, I said I was too scared to walk to a cab by myself. I limped out with the bouncer, refusing to be left for even a moment alone.