Forgiveness

It's the first time I'd seen you in several months. I was so glad to see I wasn't the only one working hard to make myself better since then. You're truly looking good these days. I actually had such a nice time with you once we got into the swing of things. We were so out of sync the first hour that it was obvious it'd been so long since we'd spent any time out together. I was hesitant at first to see you after all that had happened. I still don't have an entirely clear picture of what did transpire...but suffice to say I went through hell then...but tonight? Tonight was even better than our first date...I remember seeing you at MT Cup, that funny hat on...burning yourself with the coffee by sipping it too quickly even. I remember kissing you that night....somehow I appreciated kissing you just now far more. I'm not saying I think dating is by any means a good idea for us...neither of us needs to be dating with what we're dealing with but...I would strongly regret it if you weren't a part of my life.

I saw the sparkle in your eyes tonight...you mean what you say about "things've gotta change" and I believe they will. It's so odd how you've been hardened beyond your years in some respects (the drug and all that came with it is largely the reasoning) but then when it comes to truly connecting with someone...the look in your eyes is the look of a young girl of 16 who's never known what exactly that's like. You've been blessed with a final chance to keep putting your life back on track. You wouldn't have this chance right now if nothing good was supposed to come of it, so don't forget that it will be easily lost if you let your guard down.

I want to connect with the true "you." I want to know you when the drug isn't your only fetish...your only goal in life. I said the words "I love you" to the shy-yet-opinionated girl I met at the coffee shop...not the girl you had let yourself become. If you want to be a part of my life as I do of yours...then you must never, ever let that girl come back. There's a beautiful world out here...I'll show it to you...as a friend...if you're brave enough to face it.

I forgive you, J***