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This isn't the first time that I've thought she would leave him. Every other time I've gotten my hopes up, she's lost her conviction. But this time feels different. I think things may actually change for her, and I want so badly to help make that happen.
My friends think I'm a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a man in her life to make her feel fulfilled and validated. Anytime someone has made that comment, I wholeheartedly agreed. It is not uncommon to hear me say, "I don't need a man for nothin I can't fucking do better myself!" However, while under the influence of several consciousness-altering substances, I had a revelation. I use this stereotype as a crutch. I desperately do want a man to love me. I can love myself til I'm blue in the face, but it's just not the same as having someone look you in the eyes and tell you they love you. For someone to let you watch the moment they take their guard down... it's almost painfully beautiful. I don't want to hide behind the screams of "I am woman, hear me roar!" anymore. I want to let my guard down and let somebody love me.