- 2 thoughts
- Log in to add a thought
This isn't the first time that I've thought she would leave him. Every other time I've gotten my hopes up, she's lost her conviction. But this time feels different. I think things may actually change for her, and I want so badly to help make that happen.
My friends think I'm a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a man in her life to make her feel fulfilled and validated. Anytime someone has made that comment, I wholeheartedly agreed. It is not uncommon to hear me say, "I don't need a man for nothin I can't fucking do better myself!" However, while under the influence of several consciousness-altering substances, I had a revelation. I use this stereotype as a crutch. I desperately do want a man to love me. I can love myself til I'm blue in the face, but it's just not the same as having someone look you in the eyes and tell you they love you. For someone to let you watch the moment they take their guard down... it's almost painfully beautiful. I don't want to hide behind the screams of "I am woman, hear me roar!" anymore. I want to let my guard down and let somebody love me.
It has a strange and twisted payoff loving someone else and letting them love you it's one of the hardest things I've ever done, I hate when people get too close to me it makes me uncomfortable and my first reaction is to run and hide and normally I do, and it doesn't get any easier but I know deep down I couldn't live without him.
I use to be this woman, and in some way I am. However; after letting him love me and falling in love with him it makes me realize how much I need him and how much I want him always in my life.
On the complete other end of the gender specturum.....
as a guy, well, I think all guys are capable of loving ourselves just fine (perhaps too much in most cases) but yeah, someone else is so much better.
I am a firm believer in being a wild woman as well as a loved one. Love and support can and should always go both ways, so the love you get from a man will be repaid with your strength and nourishment.
I´m no housewife, but there´s something deeply satisfying about supporting a man and being the one who gets to help build him back up when he´s ready to fall.