As a child I can remember thinking that war was the worst thing in the world
Now I struggle to decide if it is genocide or the indifference of everyone watching it happen. I don’t know. All I know is that I have the same feeling I carried around, about war, as a child. A feeling of hopeless confusion and the helpless emptiness of feeling that nothing I do to help will ever be enough.

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The anger I feel is mounting. I am watching good people turn a blind eye to war crimes… People I see advocate for so many other good things have remained silent about the genocide in Palestine. I want to believe that it’s due to lack of exposure or education, but when I try to provide those things, it’s as if no one listens. I’m screaming into a void while I watch children die. I try to empathize with the fact that people have other things going on, but no one ever seems to have the capacity to tune back in. It’s one thing to take a mental health break, it’s another to intentionally avoid what is happening. Perhaps people feel it’s justified? The daily death rates in Gaza are higher than any other major conflict in modern day. 250 people per day. 26,000 people and counting since October. Nothing justifies the genocide of children. Am I living in some fucked up parallel universe? That’s what it feels like, when the President I voted for is actively funding genocide while keeping none of the promises of his campaign. I don’t even see a point in voting this year. No matter who we end up with, women will still be losing the rights to their bodies, POC and the LGBTQAI+ will still be facing laws that actively oppress them, we will all still be drowning in student debt, and our money will still be spent bombing children. And we will still be bystanders. I am so tired of everything. I feel defeated. I feel like I am alone in choosing the responsibility of knowledge over the bliss of ignorance. I want so badly to be ignorant of what is happening and I wish even more to be ignorant of people actively choosing ignorance. I want so badly to still believe that people are goodThat bystanders can become advocates. I hope the hope I have left will not be in vain.

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