Purple

Silly of me to find it romantic that the same song is in both of our heads. Crazy of me to think that more than one thing could go right in my life at once. Insanity to dangle a shiny key, an express pass to Metown in front of someone who is, in many ways, a stranger. Laughable of me to still have determination. Buffoonary for me to still have boatloads of hope, available in every flavor, color, and size. Ridiculous of me to go "Oh, okay, yeah, it's time." concerning major responsibilities I have towards myself and the ones I love, concerning stability, social standing, etc. But that's where my problems are. I can love an angry drunk, feel pity for the posing girl. Nevermind how much emotion I devote to those who actually deserve it. Now I need to prove myself in other ways. Although I will not blame myself for putting love first, nope nope nope. Ain't happening. Batshit insane of me to keep trying, trying, trying, never giving up on anything, not one single part of my life, when most people I know are in love but unemployable, fiscally comfortable but frozen as December inside.

Better get another court order, might want to stick me in Midtown again. Because all of that, I'm totally doing.