Cellphone

Sometimes, I feel kind of bad that I allow drunk-me to carry a cell phone.

In the past week, I have:

But, the idea of leaving my cell phone behind is just impossible.

I remember how proud he was when he showed me my picture id on his phone.

He didn't have a picture of me on it, but he did have an animation of two hearts, joining in the middle.

Sometimes I wish someone would be that excited to show me that they care again.

I don't know how many nights I've fallen asleep holding this damned thing, hoping that certain people would call me, let me know that they cared, or whatever. Some nights it was just to make sure I would feel it vibrate and that would wake me up. But not recently. Lately I cling to that phone as if it were my salvation, waiting for him to call or her to cal land let me know how their lives are going. I look forward to text conversations with a friend currently home in hawaii ....they are the highlight of my day.

But at night.... when it's time to sleep alone again, I wish only for him to call and tell me about his day, tell me how he's doing, ask me how I am. I love hearing his voice, it's so reassuring. He'll be here to visit in 16 long, arduous days with the purpose of visiting little ol me.

Of course, until he comes I'll be ardently hoping for those calls that often wake me just to hear him say he cares, that he misses me too, that he can't wait to see me, that he's frustrated with something, whatever. I just love hearing from him.....it makes me incredibly happy.