Belong

I guess this is what I get after choosing to leave. We're so different, now. I don't really belong in your group of friends anymore. However, if I had to pick between staying and fitting it with them, and leaving like I did, I'd make the same decision. I will always love you like a sister. I just hope one day you'll grow up. One day you'll understand why I made the decision I did.

I never fit in with you. I was always on the outside. Every once in a while I would step into the circle that you all formed, only to realize that you didn't really want me there. Some of you were nice about it, others of you didn't even try to hide the fact that you didn't like me. And I never figured out why you didn't like me.

I spent many nights crying over it, many nights wondering why I didn't belong. I was never good enough. Now I wonder if things would have turned out differently if only you had let me in. Would I have been a better dancer? Would I have left like I did? Would things even have gotten so miserable that I would consider leaving? Would I be looking at a different future right now?

And that is when I realize that it was probably for the best. I'm happy with where I am right now. I don't need you to like me to be successful. I don't need your approval, your half-hearted friendship, to be content with my life.

Maybe I would have more confidence in my abilities as a dancer if I had been part of your group, but that was never who I was. I was never willing to change myself to fit in.

So yes, I hated the way I felt every time I saw how much fun you had together, how many times you had your dreams handed to you, how popular you were. But I have never in my life regretted avoiding all of the bad decisions you made. Nor do I regret the fact that I chose education over dance. How can I regret the decisions that have led me to where I am now? How can I be sorry that I chose this future ahead of me, this future that holds many great promises?

I still can't help but wish I had been part of what you had though...

never belonged there anyways

like a equilateral trying to go into a right angle, close but not a fit.