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God damnit, people, once you get a divorce, you need to go "Well, alrighty, that was a mistake, we're not compatible." And then focus on the child. Children.
I'm fucking tired of watching family members scream at each other everytime they exchange the kids. Don't do that shit!
I'm tired of seeing parents fight over the kid like some trophy, the point is not you 'winning' over the other person, the point is the child.
And if you have custody and the child wants to go see the other parent, don't take it personal, and don't take any anger it causes out on the kid! Jesus Christ.
More often than not, if both parents are fairly 'normal', the kids gonna love it over at X's house because all they have to do is be a weekend parent. If you only saw your child twice a month, would you not try to make it a good time?
Don't be stubborn for years and years if the kid wants to go live with them (unless they are actually unfit, and it's not just that you don't like them) The more you say no, the more the kid is going to dislike you and idolize the other parent. Let them go, even if they're still in your custody. Let them see that difference between a weekend parent and a fulltime parent.
I never had to deal with my parents fighting while together. In a way, I guess this is a blessing.
Reminds me a lot of my childhood and I wonder why I have commitment issues. People fall into two categories now. Needy and distant. My gray has been stolen and replaced by solid black and white. Curse weekends with dad and the integrations about how things are going and who's been visiting and whether or not I'm eating and curse weeks with mom trying to make up for having had a relatively good time with dad. She does after all work all week come home cook and clean making sure we have the best possible life. Urg seriously though this still goes on. I'm well beyond the days of lollipop bribery and this is still going on! Oh you talked to your father today....I suppose your mother said that....
I'm 21 and I still have to tell my mom to shut the everloving hell up. She still says nasty things about them, and wonders why it makes me cry. Yeah, I have commitment issues, clinginess problems (although I fight that one like hell) MAJOR MAJOR abandonment issues, a list of anxiety problems, substance abuse problems....
I'm not blaming all of that solely on them, but they sure contributed.
Er, him, not them. Nasty things about him. Being my dad. Damn this no comment editing!
I'm in the same boat. Floating directionless in a dead end career and still tip toeing between both parents. I realize I make the damn mistakes but I often wonder if they weren't so caught up in hating eachother would they have been more open to seeing what the hell was going in my life while I was younger before I made all of he big mistakes. You know? Do you ever think about that? I mean what if they stopped asking me what the other said or did and asked me where I was at fourteen out all night just sneeking in that morning for breakfast? Eight years later and now they're asking what happened in a round about way blaming the other for my black sheep out come.
Hell. People should need a license to have kids. I loathe government involvement, but ChristChex, I'm sick of helpless kids getting the short end of the stick, sometimes to the face, and then growing up and having problems they did nothing to deserve.