View Thinker #77406d's profile thought 15 years, 5 months ago...

I read the first two of these pretty much by accident. I get bored, I read. My eleven year old niece, who buys skinny pants (WTF did Hot Topic start selling skinny pants?!) and has an attitude, lent them to me when I visited my sister. I sound old. Anyway, they're literary crud, in my opinion. Thank you, whoever explained the whole plot in a paragraph. Now I won't be tempted to read the other two. What is up with the sparklemania?

View Thinker #f5253f's profile thought 15 years, 5 months ago...

I finally read the book.

How the fuck did this atrocity become popular, exactly?

View Thinker #7bb0a4's profile

masses of people have never been known to be intelligent, so my guess is that one person liked it and found a way to spin it so that they could convince the masses that it was amazing

View Thinker #a7330f's profile

Replace "liked" with "wrote," and I'd say your comment was pretty accurate.

I have taken to calling the books "the literary equivalent of plastic fruit."

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View Thinker #000000's profile thought 15 years, 6 months ago...

Alright, this is getting ridiculous. It's like... Dawson's Creek with vampires or something? What's the deal?

View Thinker #394170's profile

It's a series about some girl(totally not an author self-insert honest) who falls in love with some self-loathing vampire, much sex and violence ensues, werewolves happen, he impregates her and she gives birth to the telepathic hellspawn in what I am told is horrendously graphic spine-breaking(literally) detail, then he turns her to save her life and they get married and everyone lives happily ever after!

Did I metion that this particular kind of vampire isn't hurt by sunlight? Apparently they just... sparkle a bit. Hence the term sparklevampires or sparklymarblepeen in the case of the commonly lusted-over main vampire guy.

It's like Anne Rice except without the religious overtones and... less restraint.

View Thinker #277dd3's profile

I was told the film was pretty much on par with the Ghost Rider movie.

View Thinker #0080ff's profile

i read part of the book and hated it everyone in my hall is reading it. It's actually really funny to listen to them talk about it.

View Thinker #2d042c's profile

It's the most idiotically vanillified vampire romance EVER.

And it's somehow hilarious.

View Thinker #02584e's profile

It is ridiculous. The writing is horrendous. If I ever hear someone being referred to as having "cold marble skin" again, I'm burning the book.

The movie was hilarious because they tried so hard to be serious, but it failed. I was glad I went to a later showing with people who weren't over-serious fangirls. It was amusing. Heheheheh....

View Thinker #5f1f0a's profile

I like the series. The writing could be a lot better, but they're good books.

View Thinker #000000's profile

I like movies that I can be irreverent with. It's a pasttime of mine to watch terrible movies and give them a Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment. And you know what? Oftentimes, I have more fun that way than if the movie were actually really good.

I might end up trading in my testicles for a ticket to Twilight.

View Thinker #02584e's profile

doooo it.... so very ridiculous. Probably worth it just for the look on Jasper's face everytime he comes on screen. The whole theater burst into laughter every time they did a closeup on him... or any closeup... and there were a lot of those

View Thinker #a7330f's profile

Why pay to see it in the theater? Just wait all of a day or so and download it. Then, if it's bad enough to warrant future public mockings, you have a copy of it - and you don't monetarily encourage anyone involved in the production or distribution of the film.

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