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it's a weird feeling, being alone in another country. here, there is no one to call at one am for fast food, no one to knock on my door at odd hours carrying booze, no one to ask me to random events via text or come pick me up when i'm too lazy to run errands.
some of the most important people in my life are far away anyway, even when i'm back home. my best friend (and many other friends) lives in texas. my boyfriend lives in new york city. i have friends all over the nation that i miss constantly, but the fact that i can see them any time i have the money keeps that at bay. now, there's no way. i can't feel my boyfriend's hand if i want to or hug my best friend, no matter how much i need or want to.
it's scary. it feels very lonely. i'm sure as time goes on and i make more friends and get closer to my departure date i'll feel less afraid than i do now. after all, it's only four months. i really do appreciate the opportunity to be here and to experience a different place.