Engaged

There's a lot of people at my office all getting married this year.

Two coworkers were talking and were trying to break down the chronological order-- "I think it's you first, then me, then Justin, and then Colin."

Then one of them asked "I wonder who after that?"

They both looked at me with a "Hey, you thinking about proposing?" sort of look and nudging...

I didn't even know how to respond--Their timing was terrible, as I had just been given the news a few days earlier that my girlfriend was moving away. So, no. I'm not fucking getting engaged. :P

The previous post under this thoughtword reminded me of how weird I feel about all the people in my life getting engaged.

Every time I find about about another one... It almost pisses me off.

I should be happy, but inside I'm a bitter jealous old crotchety man.

I have never even been on a date and people my age, or worse, some of them younger than me, are already deciding that they're done with the whole dating scene and moving on.

Bah.

A girl I had a crush for a while is getting married. It's not that it bothers me, or makes me jealous or even gives me a "what if?" type of feeling, because it honestly doesn't. It just freaks me out that she's getting married, is all. I mean I certainly am not calling her out, she's a big girl now, she can make her own decisions. I guess it just creeps me out that real people, who I am attracted to, are getting married. I guess them growing up means I'm growing up? Or something like that? The thought of all of us getting old frankly terrifies me. I am nineteen, but I associate heavily with people in their early-mid twenties. Sure I have my "younger" friends too, but they are mostly high school seniors. So they'll be in college in a few months. Everyone's growing up. Everyone's changing. I've built a world around myself over the past couple years. It's about to crash all over my neophobic ass.

Yesterday I found out one of my old friends was engaged, and I must admit that it makes me sad. I really don't think his girl is good for him. She's the reason that he and I don't talk anymore, because she got jealous even though we were never actually around each other. She made him stop doing things that he loved, things that I liked about him. And they fight all the time.

I don't want to wish them bad, but I can't see this going very well.

I hope for their sake it does though. He deserves to be happy, and he loves her so much.