- 4 thoughts
- Log in to add a thought
For most of my life, I've never given serious thought to marriage. It was just one of those things that happened, and while I've had some fun at other people's marriages it's never been something that I was really invested in very much.
As time goes on, I've keyed myself in to the restrictions surrounding expectations of me. The more I've learned about the wedding industry, the more disgusted I become with the idea. If people in my life really knew how keen I was to not get married, they would really question whether I'm legitimate and that bothers me. But it repulses me to think of setting up a ceremony to be recognized in the eyes of state and family for a union that should just simply be solid without it. See, the way I've always wanted to do things is to just live with a partner over an extended period of time and remain that way. Nothing fancy, no material trappings or stress surrounding an event that's supposed to be milked as the most important day in my life. Every time I hear that phrase, I question it vehemently because it feels like people are trying to tell me what I should and shouldn't dream about and I abhor that kind of thinking. My dream is to just experience adventure in life, and to not be tethered to the things associated with traditional Western values. You know, the average Christian lifestyle with a marriage and a home in a quiet suburb or country property with a family and steady career.
I want to go crazy. I want to have silly stories to tell. I want to get into a little bit of trouble. I want to irk people, just to make them think about the things they take for granted. I don't want to be conventional, or live a boring life, or ever give in to that sinking feeling you get when people tell you that you settle down as you get older. I've already wasted a lot of my life being quiet and withdrawn, and I'm tired of wasting my time. I need some action.
I got married.
I used to be so against the idea of marriage, but now that I am married I realized that I had no Idea what I was talking about. It's absolutely wonderful to have a constant companion. A best friend, and a lover in the same.
I've been thinking a lot on the concept of marriage lately. The whole idea of it seems silly to me. Granted I've seen a lot of good, happy, successful marriages but I've also seen some awful ones where one or more persons in the family are being abused or they simply aren't happy. For me, I don't really know one way or another if I really want to get married. Today one of the people that I would consider marrying out of the blue told me he could never marry me because he would get bored. I'm thinking, "Oh...thanks, jackass!" but I was just going to play the confused card and go with it. No point in arguing over something that I don't care about. I could see us together. Though...later on he did allude to the two of us having children after my, admittedly selfish, statement on how he should have children so that I could play with them. All the same, I think that I'll not get married.... ever....
I've thought about the idea of marrying someone for the sheer benefit of having a life partner. So I thought I should marry someone who I am solely intellectually attracted to and simply marry them for their mind because then, if by some odd chance I become old, I could be with them beyond the years of beauty. Then we could each go our own way for physical partners and simply be the greatest of friends who have tax dependents. It works...
If my mother saw this she might very well shit herself. She has always envisioned me marrying some "nice young man" who would "take care of me." As if I need taking care of. I used to agree with her, but now the idea of a single relationship for the rest of my life seems completely preposterous. All the same.... I could live without people and I never intend to have children because that, too, is a silly idea to me, but I should like a life partner to appreciate things with. To explore with. To be the dearest of friends with me until I move on.