Slut

I don't have to love you to have sex with you. I'm pretty sure I don't even have to like you that much, as a person. So long as you're attractive in whatever way works for me, and it's mutual, we could have some fun. When this thought first occurred to me, my inner catholic good-girl recoiled in horror. 'Sex is about love!' she wailed, 'Love and... and making babies! That's what it's for! Anything else is just wrong!' No, I had to disagree, we accepted that it doesn't have to be about babies right from the start. That bit never made sense. 'I... w-well, okay... but it's still about love. It's a holy sacrament of love and closeness between partners, that's what it is!' It can be. Doesn't have to be, though. 'You go too far! That sort of thinking... that attitude! That makes you a slut!' That dreaded word. I feel like I'm at school all over again... 'But we have true love,' she whimpers, trying to close my eyes again. 'Can't you just be happy with that? Why do you want to ruin everything?' I am happy, though. So happy I feel like my heart could burst sometimes. This has nothing to do with that, is my point. Sex is just... another thing to do. It's fun. 'It's important! It's something couples do!' Couples do all sorts of important things. He cooks, I wash up. He builds, I paint. He takes the bag of groceries and I press the traffic-lights button, and he smiles at me and it's the most important moment in my life, every moment, because he is there. Every action, from the mundane to the sublime, is an expression of how much I love him, how much he means to me. That's how it works. She goes quiet, and I can tell she's troubled. She can't quite reconcile this separation yet. Sex != Love. It's an inequation we need to internalise, but the well-worn path of years is a hard one to break from. I know it's true now, though. She'll get over it.

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I decided a long time ago that there is no god, not in the sense that we've been taught. There's only what you want, and your own internal ethics system.

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A lot of my friends are "sluts" according to society. But to me a "slut" is someone who fucks for attention, as opposed to for sexual pleasure. In a way, I consider myself kind of a slut. I will fuck myself for attention; though I do get pleasure from some of it, for the most part it is just so people will like me. But back to the topic at hand. I have only really known a few true, sexual sluts according to my definition. I think most girls get marked as sluts because there is this intrinsic societal concept that sex is only for the man's pleasure. If we were in some crazy theocracy that demanded clitoral circumcision, yes. But we live in America, and America is technically not a theocracy yet. So, to sum up, hopefully the term will go away when we guys as a whole get better with our dicks.

i like the way this word sounds. it's fun to say.

slutslutslutslutslut

i think of different meanings for it. to me it sort of sounds like a kind of slinky, slow movement.

"he slutted from the bar to the dance floor."

or a synonym for some of the meanings of fuck.

"i slutted up!"

or some sort of geological feature.

"we hiked over the slut to see the waterfall."

unfortunately its one and only meaning is just a little too close to my soft spot.