Awakened

For me it happened one day all of a sudden. I was eighteen years old and I had been in a car full of other kids. We had been drinking and just having a good time. It was the dead of winter I remember the school had been closed that day because of the freshly fallen snow. I can still remember the smell of it, the crispness in the air. Well that afternoon most of the snow had began to melt in the mid day sun. That night when the temperature had dropped back down the melted snow had frozen over and there was no way for us to see the black ice embedded in the hot top. The car lost control and swerved off the road. When the car stopped spinning we all got out and looked around. Snow had begun to fall again. Silent in the darkness. I turned towards my friend and she smiled. “My God we’re lucky.” She said dropping her empty bottle in a snow bank. The drive got out and walked towards me staring at his car. He smiled slightly never turning to face me. I smiled then. I don’t exactly know why. Slowly he reached out grabbing my hand holding it tight and I could feel him shaking slightly. Maybe it was the cold. Maybe it was the near death experience. Maybe it was because this was the first time his skin ever touched my own. He pulled me closer holding me tight. Tighter than anyone had ever held me. This is true still to this day. He never ever turned to face me automatically assuming I wouldn’t pull away. That I would except it and embrace him back. So intimate in that moment like we were the oldest of friends, lovers maybe and I felt something in me change. I felt something in me wake up and something else fall asleep. That was all it took. A moment without words and I was his. I replay this moment over and over in my mind at night when I can’t sleep. That one perfect moment I had with another being where we weren’t two people but one and we knew and felt something that no one else felt at that exact moment. This is what we use to have. This is what I miss the most. This is what I may never again have. He brought me to life and killed me in the same exact moment. Changing me forever.