- 4 thoughts
- Log in to add a thought
I miss them. I'm over seven months pregnant. My fiance is in the busiest part of the year for his job. Dildos aren't dicks. And we're semi-monogamous, we have allowances but there's no one about that I'd like to touch other than him, honestly. I don't know many people here. Thus, I'm lucky if we find time to bone three times a week. This isn't entirely his fault, I sleep at weird hours, am nauseous some of the times he's in the mood, etc. But it's the least sex I've had in my life, while in a relationship, for a long time. When I'm not having any sex, things kind of go dormant after awhile, I masturbate occasionally and just don't think about it. But when I'm getting slightly less than what I'm used to/want, it's kind of annoying. Plus, I've been assured by everyone that the extra estrogen my body is dumping into itself raises libido. It's annoying. Also, since baby-havin' is often puts things out of commission for a while, there seems to be a voice in the back of my head yelling at me to get sex in while I can. Frig.
Penises are easy to get self-conscious about. Beyond the whole OMG IS MY SIZE OKAY issue, which I've never been able to relate to, penises are expressive, and we rarely want our genitalia to be expressive. If it's not hard immediately when you drop your pants, is she going to think that you're not interested and get self-conscious about herself and stress out? If she notices that it's hard when you're just changing clothes, or in swim trunks, or in some other situation where sex isn't imminent, what is she going to think? Is she going to think that you're too horny, or having inappropriate thoughts that reflect poorly on you? Is she going to wonder from then on if you're thinking about sex in all sorts of other inappropriate situations? Is it going to make her feel all the more cheated the next time you're both horny, but you feel too tired to have sex? Plus, there's ejaculation. Cumming is one of those things that I think can be argued as a case against intelligent design. I don't think that any person would voluntarily opt to suddenly start shooting wads of goo indiscriminately all over the place during his or her most intimate moments. In that regard, I envy women, who can have orgasms without any further complications. It's not an "oh shit get a towel quick quick" moment, nor a "awww... well, I guess we're done" moment. It's just an orgasm moment. With penises come a mixed bag. Heh. Here's a tip, ladies. I've received a decent amount of oral sex in my years (and I tip my hat to the wonderful women to have adventured into the savage lands below my equator). It feels pretty fucking awesome. What doesn't feel particularly awesome (meaning you never need to go to the trouble of doing this again) is ramming the tip of my dick into the back of your throat like you're trying to hammer a bolt into plywood. The deepthroating effort is appreciated, but deepthroating does not have to result in the head of my dick being bruised with an imprint of your tonsils, and that does, in fact, detract from the overall fun that oral sex most often is. And bringing this thought all together, we come to the subject of ejaculation and oral sex. I've never, never received oral sex from anyone who was not eager to consume the results thereof. I don't know if this is due to fantastic luck or because girls who avoid swallowing are exceptionally rare. The act isn't something that I'm sure that I would be comfortable with if I were a girl (or gay guy), or if it's something that I would be uncomfortable with. But it's something that I don't personally demand and I don't think that most guys would either, so ladies, don't hesitate to spit if the prospect of swallowing makes you queasy. I remember my first girlfriend saying that she thought it was "rude" not to swallow. I didn't argue.
Her: I'm going to have to go to the store to get another hair clippy thing. Don't worry, I'll get another one in the shape of your penis. Me: That might be hard. It'll have to be angled slightly this way and the size of a caulking gun. Her: (laughs) Me: And forked halfway down the middle, so it looks like the letter Y. Her: Yeah, well if I- Me: A CAPITAL Y. Her: (laughs) Me: But it leans kind of this way, so it's like an italics capital Y. Her: What font? Me: IMPACT.