Penis

Now I just don't have access to the one I want.

I miss them. I'm over seven months pregnant. My fiance is in the busiest part of the year for his job. Dildos aren't dicks. And we're semi-monogamous, we have allowances but there's no one about that I'd like to touch other than him, honestly. I don't know many people here. Thus, I'm lucky if we find time to bone three times a week. This isn't entirely his fault, I sleep at weird hours, am nauseous some of the times he's in the mood, etc. But it's the least sex I've had in my life, while in a relationship, for a long time. When I'm not having any sex, things kind of go dormant after awhile, I masturbate occasionally and just don't think about it. But when I'm getting slightly less than what I'm used to/want, it's kind of annoying. Plus, I've been assured by everyone that the extra estrogen my body is dumping into itself raises libido. It's annoying. Also, since baby-havin' is often puts things out of commission for a while, there seems to be a voice in the back of my head yelling at me to get sex in while I can. Frig.

Penises are easy to get self-conscious about. Beyond the whole OMG IS MY SIZE OKAY issue, which I've never been able to relate to, penises are expressive, and we rarely want our genitalia to be expressive. If it's not hard immediately when you drop your pants, is she going to think that you're not interested and get self-conscious about herself and stress out? If she notices that it's hard when you're just changing clothes, or in swim trunks, or in some other situation where sex isn't imminent, what is she going to think? Is she going to think that you're too horny, or having inappropriate thoughts that reflect poorly on you? Is she going to wonder from then on if you're thinking about sex in all sorts of other inappropriate situations? Is it going to make her feel all the more cheated the next time you're both horny, but you feel too tired to have sex? Plus, there's ejaculation. Cumming is one of those things that I think can be argued as a case against intelligent design. I don't think that any person would voluntarily opt to suddenly start shooting wads of goo indiscriminately all over the place during his or her most intimate moments. In that regard, I envy women, who can have orgasms without any further complications. It's not an "oh shit get a towel quick quick" moment, nor a "awww... well, I guess we're done" moment. It's just an orgasm moment. With penises come a mixed bag. Heh. Here's a tip, ladies. I've received a decent amount of oral sex in my years (and I tip my hat to the wonderful women to have adventured into the savage lands below my equator). It feels pretty fucking awesome. What doesn't feel particularly awesome (meaning you never need to go to the trouble of doing this again) is ramming the tip of my dick into the back of your throat like you're trying to hammer a bolt into plywood. The deepthroating effort is appreciated, but deepthroating does not have to result in the head of my dick being bruised with an imprint of your tonsils, and that does, in fact, detract from the overall fun that oral sex most often is. And bringing this thought all together, we come to the subject of ejaculation and oral sex. I've never, never received oral sex from anyone who was not eager to consume the results thereof. I don't know if this is due to fantastic luck or because girls who avoid swallowing are exceptionally rare. The act isn't something that I'm sure that I would be comfortable with if I were a girl (or gay guy), or if it's something that I would be uncomfortable with. But it's something that I don't personally demand and I don't think that most guys would either, so ladies, don't hesitate to spit if the prospect of swallowing makes you queasy. I remember my first girlfriend saying that she thought it was "rude" not to swallow. I didn't argue.

View Thinker #daa10c's profile

On swallowing: I've met many many girls who would rather spit, so it is possible that you're really lucky. IMHO though I think it's an incredibly erotic act to swallow. Giving oral sex is almost as fun as getting it, watching your partner in one of their most intimate, vulnerable and pleasurable moments. Maybe I'm totally bizarre for feeling this way but it's almost like a sort of "reward" at the end. Plus, if the guy has a decent diet and isn't generally gross, it actually tastes kinda good; I really do think I'm alone in that sentiment though, haha.

I have to say though, I am pretty glad I'm female. Masturbation is much neater. Plus I'll never accidentally shoot myself in the face with a misaimed blob of jizz.

View Thinker #91fa37's profile

being a lesbian, i dont often come into contact with a real penis so its always interesting to see what other people say about them. as for women never going "oh shit, i need a towel!" there are actually the magical few female ejaculators who do, and i have been lucky enough to supply some of those ladies with said towels :)

View Thinker #a7330f's profile

The swallowing thing is due to the crowd you tend to roll with, dude.

View Thinker #394170's profile

Not had the opportunity yet, and I doubt I ever will, but I wouldn't hesitate to swallow. I find the very idea incredibly sexy.

View Thinker #1f6774's profile

haha, of the two women I've had something like sex with... the first one was one of those rare female ejaculators one mentioned.... Most people I've told this to were really disturbed by that, but honestly, I thought it was great.

I never had a goddamn clue with the second one if she was having an orgasm or how close I was or what... the first one though - I KNEW. Which was a great confidence booster for a first time...

View Thinker #000000's profile

Actually, I can totally relate. I had a brief relationship with one woman who ejaculated like a lawn sprinkler. Every time she said she was getting off there was a torrent of proof. It was surprising at first, and it led to a completely drenched mattress every time we had marathon sex, but it was, as you said, a confidence booster.

Furthermore, while we're on the subject, I discovered upon performing oral sex on her several times that female ejaculatory fluid tastes pretty much exactly like water.

View Thinker #1f6774's profile

Also, 1.) Even if they're a female ejaculator, when they cum it's not "the end" in the same way it is when a guy does.

2.) I would also like to second the notion that, ladies, sometimes our dongs just get hard for completely random reasons. Sometimes we don't even know why. Othertimes our only crime was remembering we had a penis, and the reminder that its there makes it snap to attention. And the worst of all is the dreaded thought "The worst thing that could happen right now would be if I popped a boner"... once that thought has entered your mind, you're in goddamn erection city. That last fun tip was pointed out to me by a friend in theater who has done more than one play in tights! haha... But I can attest to it's message...

View Thinker #a43029's profile

I think that penises are pretty damn neat. Sex aside, they just look and feel funny. Maybe it's a novelty thing on my part, but I really think that if it weren't for the whole issue of getting aroused at my partner's hardness, I could play with a penis for hours in end.

  1. Foreskin is fascinating. I've had partners with and without it, and there's definitely a part of me that wants to get them side by side and take notes. On the receiving end, I can't say that one felt especially different from the other. Thoughts, everyone?

  2. The vascular topography of a penis is awesome to see and feel. It brings to mind things in plant life, like if a tree's trunk had veins like the leaves, it would be a penis. And it would be friggin' cool. When my partner's genitalia are post coitally chilling out with mine, I can feel the blood moving through the veins. It's not like the entire thing pulses, but the actual lines created by the veins. It kind of tickles.

  3. Really, how does this whole hardness thing work? I understand that it can happen arbitrarily, like nipple hardness, but is it possible to be horny and not hard? When it's hard, even if it's not initially caused by arousal, does it lead to it?

I think ejaculation is very cool. For me, especially after oral sex, it's kind of like a pat on the back. There's no guesswork in deciding if a guy is satisfied. Also, I second (or maybe third) the motion that it doesn't taste bad. I think I opted not to swallow the first time, but since then I've done it pretty gladly. Reminds me of soy milk.

Also, vegetarians taste better.

View Thinker #1f6774's profile

"3. Really, how does this whole hardness thing work? I understand that it can happen arbitrarily, like nipple hardness, but is it possible to be horny and not hard? When it's hard, even if it's not initially caused by arousal, does it lead to it? "

It is possible to be horny and not hard. Impotence, as an obvious example, but even beyond that it can happen. Like, if going down on someone my thing might be getting ignored and my mind is more focussed on the task at hand (pun perhaps intended) I might lose the erection but I wouldn't say I'm not still horny, as I'm still into the whole sex thing. The two are definitely linked, and one generally causes the other in a cyclical feedback loop... but they're two separate entities, horniness and erections.

And yeah, I just answered your other question there: just having an erection often makes us horny, yes. Random "morning-wood" I'm sure causes a lot of post-sleep sex...

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Her: I'm going to have to go to the store to get another hair clippy thing. Don't worry, I'll get another one in the shape of your penis. Me: That might be hard. It'll have to be angled slightly this way and the size of a caulking gun. Her: (laughs) Me: And forked halfway down the middle, so it looks like the letter Y. Her: Yeah, well if I- Me: A CAPITAL Y. Her: (laughs) Me: But it leans kind of this way, so it's like an italics capital Y. Her: What font? Me: IMPACT.

View Thinker #1f6774's profile

There are actually penis fonts people have made, btw, where all letters look like penises in some way...

View Thinker #f5253f's profile

Ah, the coveted Q-shaped penis! (I NEED to see this font.)

View Thinker #394170's profile

Googling reveals many penis-shaped fonts, but unfortunately most of them just look terrible.

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