Alprazolam
- 3 thoughts
- Log in to add a thought
It is the devil. I went from a normal productive member of society to a train wreck quickly! I got caught. Calling in my own prescriptions but after nine months. People tell me things I did I have absolutely no recollection of for instance waking up in a jail in an entire different county in a restraint chair because they said I threw water on one of the guards in the jail. I may or may not have. I couldn't tell you. I started getting prescriptions from my doctor and it all went downhill from there. Now that I have eight years of sobriety I look back and think that doctor gave me any and everything I asked for and I definitely knew what to ask for. I did this to trade or sell for more Xanax. It was innocent I was going through a terrible time and I took them to numb my pain. Eventually, it got so bad I would take them and not even realize I was doing it. It's sad to think doctors can prescribe narcotics and yet weed is illegal. Go figure! I knew I had to change and I did! I knew I was not about the jail life!
jittery, nervous, heart racing faster and faster. i feel so unprepared, i cannot stand it. i am about to crack under the pressure, eyes welling up and throat constricting. unable to focus, unable to breathe.
for now, i am calm; my problems have been set aside. i wish i could sleep, but i don't have time.
Shit's mad addictive, yo. What's got you stressed?
that was the first time i'd taken any sort of medication prescribed for someone other than... myself. i had a breakdown due to school and i always tell myself "i can't do it" or "no matter how hard i try, i'll still do poorly". i'm a decent student, but i freak myself out way to much about it. i asked mom if she had any sort of anti-anxiety meds, and she did. i'm sure she used it to ease her mind about my brother, who has quite a few problems of his own. it's just a really stressful time around here. i know things could be a lot worse, but during times like these i just don't know what to do.
that, and fall is my favorite season. i should be happier than i am, especially because i just got back together with the boy i love. he's been pretty stressed out about school too, we haven't had much time to see each other lately and i don't want to lose him again.
haven't tried anything other than this for anxiety. at the beginning of college when i was living in the dorm, i was really depressed and saw a counselor and was on the brink of really needing some medication. i was depressed because i was anxious, and anxious because i was depressed. but after i figured some shit out in life, i felt better. still, there are moments where i feel like i need to take SOMETHING, but i don't have any prescriptions. maybe i should check into that.