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I'm really trying to decide what I think about agnosticism. For most of my life, I've considered myself to be agnostic, and said as much, clarifying that not only do I not know if God exists or not, but I can't know if God exists or not. A friend of mine was talking about how he was a Discordian, one of those crazy fun internet religion, and when I mentioned Agnosticism, he said that you were supposed to be Agnostic and something else. Like, I don't know, but if there were a God, I think he/she/they/it would be like this... This sounds completely absurd to me. I always felt like my religion pretty much summed itself up. There is a sealed box. I don't know what's in it. You don't know what's in it. I'm not allowed to open it until I die. Why the hell should I waste my life trying to guess what's in the box, if I've already decided that there's no way for me to make even the most basic educated guess as to what's inside it? I have no idea what's inside the box, and I don't think I ever will. But I do have an idea of what I'd like to be in the box, which is not the same thing at all. I like the idea that there is a God or Gods that created the universe. He/she/they banged a couple atoms together and started this whole big bang deal, and through clever use of science planned out how everything was going to work. They wrote the starting conditions. They wrote the rules by which it functions. I feel like I'd like humanity to be some kind of science or art project, an experiment of some kind. God didn't attribute some greater meaning to our lives. He/She/They set this in motion, and is watching as we watch, and finds the meaning with the same kind of fumbling unsureness that we do. In thinking about our lives, in finding meaning in the suffering of ourselves and of those around us, and by trying to become what we want to be, we are having a communion with God on some secret level. (Because after all, we don't know if he exists.) I don't ever want to put a name on this secret wish. I feel like it loses something being spoken out loud. I'm an agnostic.
Agnostic thats what I am and until someone can come up with evidence proving there is or isn't a god or higher being out there thats what I am going to be and if you have any evidence show me but don't give me any bible miracle stuff saying that it proves god exists and don't come to me saying god didn't do shit for me so he can't exist or if there was a god this or that wouldn't have happened. And if you are offend by this because of your religion or whatever because everything you say nowadays always seem to offend someone I DON'T CARE suck it up