Challenge

I want to challenge people. Not so they have something to accomplish and brag about, not to make them feel better, but to see who they really are. I want to elicit sweat, blood, fear, stress, anger, and desperation. I want to put people in situations that they never thought possible and destroy everything fake about them, if only for a moment.

Challenge me to do something. I dare you. I'll take that challenge and I'll top it.

Sometimes it's a challenge to get out of bed in the morning, or off the floor as the case allows, out of a hammock for me.Then again, it's a challenge some other times to pull yourself over one more landing while you're running away from some sort of danger, whether it be leagal or otherwise. So many things challenge us, both as humans and as thinking individuals. In various levels of school, your teachers, professors, TAs whatever are attempting to instill some sort of intellectual stimulation through the concept of a challenge to you. The conception of success provokes a continued effort against the challenge. Then, you hope, in the end, you pull yourself out of bed though your morale is nill, that you score well in a class, that you out run your danger. I hope you do tool

as much as i love my life, it can be a real challenge.

i forgot that part.

I find myself very cynical toward a majority of people because I think that they have poor and shallow taste in people, entertainment, and life choices. I got angry listening to my mom and sister, who is almost 16, listing off the cars they want just because they're expensive-they don't even know anything about the cars. My sister also made the comment that she wanted to be rich and famous. That is her life goal. In all seriousness. I mean who really has that as a life goal? That's all you want to do? And my mom's response was, well so you need to marry a rich guy too. WHAT the heck? Why are we all SO SHALLOW? While discussing this, they were listening to a song about loving someone when it is the radio edit but the original word for love is fuck. THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE. Then then next song was 50 Cent and my 13-year-old sister was singing about giving sexual favors. Then the next one she sang to was the same thing. We also passed by a certain area of town where there were 4 strip clubs at an intersection. And my 13-year-old sister was talking about how she saw somebody in a full frontal shot in Jackass 2 and how great it was. She's 13....only 13. I wonder sometimes why my values seem to be so dissonate compared to my family and a lot of other people, even some of my close friends. I feel like I understand more about life than most people, and then I feel cocky for saying that. I just want people to find genuine happiness and most people seem to consistently be looking in all the wrong places and people.

Its so weird to feel simultaneously like I am wiser than most and like I am an idealistic 5-year-old girl hoping for a prince and fairy tale. But I'm not giving in to this crap being sold to me. I know there is genuine good out there....and I'll keep searching.