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Dear Ladies of the world (and gentleman),
This is my third month as a photographer at a cheap family portrait studio, literally 90% of the women that I take pictures of call themselves fat and then get all pissy with me and don't want to buy the pictures because of this. It just makes me sick.
And for fucks sakes it's just a fucking picture. If you don't like them don't buy them, take pictures at home for free, or don't take them at all. This is not life or death people. Your not going to look back and ten years and feel regret over getting the picture where junior is waving over the picture where he has his hand down. Embrace the fact that you have a real child and not a doll. Sure they may have a weird smile, they may be a bit goofy, and they get bumps and bruises; but that is who they are. Celebrate it, if I hear one more parent saying that they hate their child's smile I am going to loose it.
I don't want to hear about how you drove an hour to come to this studio. It's a big corporate chain that is just as good as the 10 other family studio chains. We are not fricking Annie Leibovitz, we take good pictures but it's not worth driving an hour or two and pissing off your children to see us.