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I'm feeling much too restless on this Wednesday evening, but it's not just this evening, it's every evening, every day, every morning, every time I sit down to read or think. I have found that camping is perfect for my restless spirit to find balance again. Real camping that is, not the kind you do when you sit in your front yard, on your porch, or in your friends' yard, etc.
Looking outside, I'm itching to finish this thought just so that I can re-enter the world that I feel some what longing for. But even when I'm standing in the middle of my yard, staring out across the other houses and trees and flowers, listening to the lovely music of the natural world, I can't help but to wonder why I'm not walking.
That was my first thought the other day : I want to walk to Tennessee. I live in Indiana.... that would take over a week for me because I'd stop and smell the roses occassionally. If it's a 6 hour drive to the place I'd be going, then I'd be fucked and tired by the time I got there. And it'd be boring without a companion. That spurred my next thought : Maybe I could walk to one of the cities that carry friend for me. I could walk down the road to one of the friends I have here, but what's the fun in that when I could walk to Indianapolis, or Lafayette, or Bloomington or whatever.
I think I'm just at that age though, the one where you're restless, constantly wishing you could move back to school in the city, or move anywhere, or do something... anything... so long as it is your thing.
I wish I knew what it was that I wanted to do though. I know I want something and that it is not here. But where is it? Right now I am going to walk out my front door in this silly little cotton dress and flip-flops and I'm going to stand there on the patch of grass in front of this house and I'm going to stare at the sky. I will embrace this as mine for now. But soon, soon I will walk away.... but where will I walk to? These things need to be thought out before done I think... but who knows... maybe I'll just start walking.