So the friendzone is a fundamentally shitty sexist concept of bullshit, and I get that.
A quick googling can find you plenty of articles from people explaining why if you don't get it.
Now, I totally get that it sucks to be the girl that just wants a male friend for once, but dudes always end up wanting more from you instead.
I feel for you that that's shitty, and I hate ever being "that guy" to anyone...
But the problem is I find that the very way I get attracted to people in the first place causes that to happen.
And, so... I hate THAT.
The idea that I'd find some random stranger attractive seems completely alien to me. I mean, sure I can objectively say "that girl looks cute" or whatever, but... so what? That doesn't mean anything at all. I see maybe 10 girls a day that I think are cute-- I don't see the point in chasing any one of them.
So no, for me, I find that basically, over the course of knowing a girl -- a friendship, if you will -- I learn more and more about them and eventually hit sort of a critical mass of all these little "Hey, this girl is amazing!" little tidbits that pushes me over into attracted-to-her-land.
The amount of time this takes varies.
Sometimes it's years.
It's not that I'm not up-front about my feelings when we first meet-- I literally didn't have those feelings until 5 minutes ago, even though we've known each other for months.
But then, of course, the girl in question is already happy with our friendship, and so I either have to:
A.) Compromise our friendship with a potentially very icky want-to-be-more conversation that could ruin everything
B.) Wait for a window of opportunity where I see some interest from HER in something more-- which may or may not ever happen...
or C.) Just have to let it go, ignore my feelings, and keep her blissfully unaware of how I feel and hope my attraction fades in time.
This problem is compounded by the fact that this appears to be the ONLY way I get attracted to people.
So I'm forever doomed to being either the shitty ruiner-of-friendships guy, or always alone. :/
And I hate that.